Space for Change

(As featured on Elephant Journal)

There is a quietude that always exists within.

I’ve learned about it, read about it, talked about it, strived to connect to it, day in and day out. I practice recalling it in my everyday life.

During this time, this quietude has come to the forefront, in the form of an incredible inner universe: the growth of a baby right here, so close, in the cave of me.
In the midst of the day, my mind is drawn inside: by the call of the baby’s kicks, the baby’s dance inside the womb. The many outer distractions take rest for a moment, allowing the senses to connect to a center within.

“Nothing is permanent”, say the masters. And here it is: the absolute time of CHANGE. Starting with the outer sheath, the body, the shapes of bones and elasticity of ligaments. The change in body heat and skin and hair texture.
Scriptures speak about how we are not our body. Transformation and- GROWTH- is now so present on a daily basis, that the belief of being the body ultimately needs to drop, like autumn leaves too crisp to hang on to their oak tree.

But wait…There are all those ways I had perceived myself. The many judgments and fears I had been holding on to, both knowing and unknowingly. There are the fantasies of who I was and ought to become, what I ought to look like, and how fast I had to move.  I find myself trying to hang on to “my old self”, “my old yoga practice”, “my old body”. But, what is left of it today? Nobody knows.

Holding you– little baby– within me, makes all these conceptions far too constricted. You are growing, you need space, you need a nice place to swim and listen to my heartbeat, you need a space to rest, as you prepare to arrive into a new world. And so, you urge me, sometimes gently and sometimes oh so clearly and unconditionally, to let the fears and clinging thoughts in me wash away.

Through the waves of emotions and thoughts, there is now this Quietude.

The silent space, where I can allow these nine months to weave you and me, in textures I had never known, in colors I had never perceived, in tears I didn’t know existed here.

How carefully I want to move, and speak, and write, and sing. Because you are now listening, and my heartbeat and my breath are the threads through which you perceive.

Let there be compassion, let there be peace.
Dear Baby, thank you for choosing me.

Autumn Leaves

 The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear



14 thoughts on “Space for Change

  1. Oh my goodness… your words filled my skin with goosebumps and my heart with the warmth of recognition. You will be such an absolutely beautiful mother. I love you.


  2. ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­——————————————————————————————————————————————————-sight———————————–tears———————————————-silence——————————————————–thanks—————————————————–for sharing this precious spiritual experience with the world————- with me ————————————————————-your baby ———————————————————– my daughter, my Paula————————————————————————————————————I am in tears—————————————————————————– BEAUTIFUL!!!!


    Rosa Maria Colín de Julián

    Development and Community Relations

    T. (33) 3648-0299 ext.2406


    • Thank you for everything you mean to me, now, my dear mother.
      Being a mother opens up the heart, and we get to see our own mother in a whole new light.
      Thank you for everything.
      I love you.


  3. I cried and I cried and then I cried some more… so much love, so much beauty, a perfect space where life can grow. Love you soooo!! Tu cuz in forever love, Denise.


  4. Absolutely beautiful like everything you touch! There is magic in your words and it touched me. My heart jumped for joy for you, for the baby, for Daniel and for our whole family. We are all so lucky to have YOU. I love you so much. Tia Chela


  5. Perhaps you would like to consecrate a space as your sacred circle/space. Your round belly has been the sacred circle that has protected and nurtured your baby and contained the power of creation. That special space will be enlarged. Here is a poem that speaks to this space. I have stretched very large… but still I am too small for you. The circle that once protected you now constricts. The safe space in which you grew ready no longer lets you move. Now you must come out. Behold, I create a new space, a circle drawn around us both. The circle of me gives way to the circle of we. I draw this circle; with flour strewn on the floor, with ribbons and strings and bows, with people gathering around. The space must be sacred, the hour is holy. The coming is now. To our presence and the presence of the Presence.


    • THANK YOU dear Joni!!
      This is So beautiful, and speaks to the sacred and magical universe that happens with this growth of a living being.
      Did you write this lovely poem yourself?
      Thank you for your motherly presence and wise support during this time.
      Love, P


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